Missing Him

When Neil took the job offer from Progressive he accepted it with the understanding that come the end of September he would have to travel to Cleveland, OH for two weeks of training. He left yesterday. I’m not going to complain that he’s gone for two weeks and say how horribly long it seems and how much I hate it (even though those thoughts have crossed my mind). This is the job Neil wanted and I am thankful he was able to get it and am even more thankful it’s only two weeks. I understand long good-byes better than I would like to. When I was 16 my dad was deployed with his National Guard Unit for 14 months in Iraq. 14 months! Now that’s a long time. I made it through him being gone (there were days I wasn’t sure I would), my mom made it through him being gone, even my dad made it through being gone 14 months and I’m pretty sure he had the worst end of it. Compared to 14 months, two weeks is nothing, but that doesn’t make me miss my husband any less. Neil and I started dating exactly two years ago today. Every since then we have been inseparable; we haven’t gone more than a couple days without seeing each other.

Neil is an amazing husband, I know how lucky I am everyday; he helps cook, clean, whatever I need, he does it. This morning, Monday morning, was the first full day of him being gone.  I hate Mondays as it is because it seems so far from the next Friday and today was the worst Monday yet. I hadn’t even realized how much I appreciate the little things Neil does for me every morning until I’m running out the door, late for work. He makes me coffee and breakfast every morning, helps me find that one shirt I’m adamant on wearing but can’t seem to find in my closet, searches through my massive collection of shoes with me when I can only find one shoe, gives me a kiss goodbye and tells me to have a great day so that my awful morning just doesn’t seem so awful anymore. (On a side note, Neil and I only dated for six months before he proposed and I know some people thought we were crazy and it was just too fast, but seriously he’s the perfect man, do you think I’m going to let him go????) Hopefully now that I got through one morning of doing everything on my own the next two weeks won’t be so bad, but I will be more thankful than ever when my husband is back home to do all those little things I appreciate so much.

Thank you Neil for everything you do for me. I am blessed to have you in my life and love you more every single day!  Love you always and forever…

Alpha Xi Delta

When I started college I never would have thought that I would join a sorority, but I did. I went to formal recruitment with a friend because she didn’t want to go alone. I figured I’d just tag along and see what she was getting into, but next thing I knew I was opening my dorm room door to about 20 girls singing and handing me a small, white envelope inviting me to join their chapter. For the next four years Alpha Xi Delta was my college experience. My sisters became my best friends and second family and the Greek community was where I fit. By the time I got to campus Alpha Xi Delta was the only Greek chapter house ‘on campus’; we owned the land and house, but we were surrounded by SDSU buildings.  My sophomore year I lived in the chapter house…with 8 other girls. Living in the house was stressful and sometimes a lot of drama, but you can’t expect any less when you get 9 girls living together. Living in the house was also a lot of fun. I shared a room with my best friend, Laura, and instead of ruining our friendship we became a lot closer. I never knew who I was going to see when I came home or what was going to happen from day to day. I enjoyed my year of living in the chapter house and this past weekend I went to visit the house one last time before SDSU tears it down for expansion. It’s sad to know that when I go back to Brookings in the future the house that was my second home for four years will no longer be standing. The Alpha Xi Delta house was the first place at SDSU that I walked into and immediately felt like I belonged. I know it wasn’t the actual house that drew me in, it was all the amazing women that I met, but that house goes with all the memories. The late nights of initiation, ceremonies, recruitment, movie nights, impromptu sisterhoods, etc… they all occurred in the chapter house.  The Open House on Saturday was a nice way to get together with alumnae and active members and realize how many people have created lifelong friendships and memories in that house. We had one last champagne toast on the corner, off the property, and said good-bye to our chapter house.

Friday Night Football

One of my favorite parts of fall is Friday night, high school football; more specifically watching my little brother play football. Jeff is a junior this year and plays on the kick-off, kick return, and defense. This last Friday was the first football game Neil and I were able to make it to and it was in Doland. I was very excited to go watch Jeff play; it seems like he’s grown up so much in the last year it’s unbelievable! He’s no longer the shortest, littlest guy out on the field. He’s grown, cut his hair short, and gained a lot of muscle! As the band played the National Anthem and the color guard was on the field, Jeff was standing in line with the rest of the team. As the band finished playing Jeff made me very proud. The boys to either side of Jeff started grabbing helmets and such when the color guard was still on the field which is considered very disrespectful. Jeff stood with his hand on his heart and nudged both boys to stand back up. I was so very proud of him! He is such a mature, respectful teenage boy it amazes me all the time. Then the game started. During the first quarter Jeff caught an interception! My mom and I were screaming and jumping up and down as he ran 30-40 yards down the field. It was, by far, the most exciting moment of the game. During the second half Jeff took a very hard, illegal hit. He didn’t even see it coming, the player from the other team put his helmet into the middle of Jeff’s back, knocking the wind out of him and causing a lot of pain. After the play Jeff just laid on the field as the coaches walked out yelling at the refs about not calling the illegal hit. Jeff laid there for about five minutes while I just held my breathe begging him to get up. He finally did get up and walk off the field on his own and made it just to the bench on the sideline. He sat there for awhile not even talking or moving, just hunched over with his head down. I, being the overprotective sister I am, wanted to run over there and make sure he was okay, but I managed to restrain myself. Once the game was done I went out on to the field with Neil and my parents to talk to Jeff. He was definitely in pain, he told us it hurt to talk even. He gave me a hug and made sure I was sticking around for the night before getting on the bus to go home. I am thankful to have such an amazing, kind, hilarious little brother!

Normal

I haven’t ever considered my life to be normal. I grew up in a small town with a very close family. I was friends with guys in high school because girls had too much drama. I didn’t mind staying home on a Friday or Saturday night once in a while and enjoyed spending my free time volunteering. I didn’t have a normal college life: I joined a sorority, sat on numerous executive boards, worked part-time, and spent what free time I did manage to have doing homework or sleeping. When I graduated and got married in May 2010 I thought my life would finally be ‘normal’. Neil and I would work full-time, have our nights and weekends free, and enjoy married life. As much as I do enjoy married life the last three months haven’t been what I would consider normal. In July, Neil found out his office was closing and in 60 days he would be unemployed. This threw a wrench into our normal, married life. His days were spent searching for new jobs, interviewing, and trying to land on his feet. Just last week Neil was able to get a good job offer and will start September 13th. Now I thought our life could be normal; without all the worrying. Then Sunday I got a phone call saying my 5 month old niece was possibly having seizures, there goes normal once again! This week has been spent worrying about what’s going on with my niece and trying to be there to comfort my sister. I have had to watch while a 5 month old goes through an EKG, EEG, ECHO, and MRI and have my heart break for my sister who has to watch her baby go through it all. Last night after getting home from the hospital I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep when I suddenly asked my husband, “When is our life going to be normal?” He asked me what I meant and I explained what I thought a normal life should be and with everything that keeps popping up it just doesn’t seem like we’ll ever get there. After laying in silence for a few minutes Neil finally responded, “Maybe this is normal.” Everything finally clicked. There’s no such thing as a ‘normal’ life. Everybody has to deal with ups and downs, some worse than others. As much as I hate what my niece has to go through, all her tests have come back normal and she’s not feeling any pain. The child in the next room has aggressive leukemia and his mother has been in the hospital with him for a week while his siblings are at home with their dad, as heartbreaking as that is its reality. The only normal part about life is that it’s unpredictable and all you can do is take it a day at a time and trust God to get you through.


“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”